I Know What I Am



Daily struggles between getting better and resisting being better. 


For every day that goes by, where I tell myself I need to snap out of it. Get the walking shoes on, actually leave the house. Be a productive member of society. For all of that... There are a million thoughts of why not. From comforting myself to downright lies. Just not for me this exercise and healthy living patter.

Quite aside from the physical health benefits of getting out and exercising, which I am pretty much at a point where it's going to be medically necessary. I know, as I am sure everyone does, that mentally I will be so much better off but, as I say, I know what I am.

Hypocrisy is a pretty stupid thing, regardless of the form it takes. My own particular hypocritical behaviour is only bad for me. If you asked me for any advice on fitness regimes, or weight loss, I wouldn't try to pretend I know an awful lot but I can point you at loads of resources for help with anything from changing eating habits to training for a marathon and lots of things in between. You would think with resources available, I would at least have a start on helping myself. I don't listen. I know I do this, which would infuriate anyone trying to help, I will absolutely resist any goodwill or offers of guidance. 

Why? I don't need help. But if I don't need help, why can't I get it together myself? 

Even though I need to, I don't want to. 

Before another post descends into self pity, let me make my point. I am not going to be a hypocrite. 


I need to be this guy again (on the right)

Tomorrow I will make a start on doing what I need to do. I will create time to get some exercise, even if it's only 15-20 mins. 

I will take small steps. 

I will make small changes. 

I will get back on track. 

Maybe not marathon ready but certainly walk to the shops ready. It's time to change


Frankfurt 2013. Biggest physical achievement     

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I Don't Believe Myself. Yet

Image
I Tried. I Did. This WAS gonna be Today's post. Before this can be true... more work needs to be done. Getting out and about is becoming a bigger hurdle every day. So I need to address it. And I will. I promise.  I actually did go for the walk in fairness.  Pressing the Reset Button You may be reading this having recently subscribed, or maybe by following on social media. Either way I am delighted that some people have taken the time to read my recent blog posts.  I do have to say and this is something I will often say, I speak a lot of absolute rubbish at times. Sometimes though there will be the odd nugget. So let's see what today brings eh? I have been making the point about how my anxiety and stress levels are reliant on me working on myself. They don't get to be lesser, or more manageable, by simply complaining all the time, which I am prone to do.  So today is a new day and around this point you might expect a grand declaration of lifestyle changes and plans. P...
Read more

Wait... Let Me Explain

Image
It's Not As Bad As You Think, Honestly.  I joked the other day that there should be a new social media platform, where all positivity is banned and any attempt at using 'mindfulness' or other such buzzwords would result in immediate removal. A kind of utopia for miserable bastards like me. What I am basically looking at there is creation of my own wee fiefdom where it's my way or no way.  I reckon that would be fun for some of you, for all of about 15 minutes before you realised you would rather silently judge Judy for her toxic positivity cos my rotten patter isn't clever or funny. So I will just continue with letting any old nonsense tumble out onto this page. I'm saying all this like I was actually going to create a new social media platform? I have neither the ability nor the drive required to do anything like that.  For no reason, other than it's a stone cold classic, here is a song.  After that musical interlude, I shall make my point.  That song, alon...
Read more

The Trouble With Me

Image
 I Feel It All The Time Thoughts Keep Turning. It's been three months since I last engaged with the voice of my mind. Life carries on at pace, as ever. Nothing, absolutely not a sausage, happened in those last three months. So I never had any nonsense to spout. Today I am back, even though nothing happened this week either... 
Read more